9 Pieces of Advice for Myself — The First-Time Mom
I’m a little over 5.5 months into mom life and I thought I’d take a minute to jot down a few things I’ve been learning along the way. Yes, it’s advice, but it’s mostly for me. I still need to hear these things on a daily basis because, well, motherhood is a journey, not a destination.
Your baby is going to survive. Let that one sink in. Your baby is going to survive. They’ll survive the crying and the lack of sleep and that one time they didn’t poop for several days. They’ll survive the circumcision and the shots and the hour-long meltdowns. Babies are resilient and they’ll recover faster than you think.
The moment your baby comes out of you is the moment you need to let go of trying to control them. It’s impossible. You can lay the foundation. You can set them up for success and give them opportunities. You can love on them with everything you’ve got. But, that’s all you can do. Let go of the rest and be deeply happy with the little being you have right in front of you.
It’s going to be really easy to focus on the negative. All the things that aren’t going ‘right.’ Not sleeping enough. Not eating enough. Not not not enough enough enough. It’s harder to focus on the positive and all the things that are going well, but it’ll be key for your happiness as a new mom. Write down the positive and read it over and over and over.
Savoring the little moments of joy every day will be what gets you through. Remember, you won’t get any of these moments back, so soak in that sweet baby. Their soft cheeks, their juicy thighs, their cute little hands, their precious lips, their yummy breath, their innocent coos. The way they grasp your thumb while you walk around or cuddle up on you in the carrier. Smooch and snuggle and smell and observe your tiny human. They are absolutely fascinating. Watch with wonder and awe as they figure out their new world.
Speaking of joy, the first time your baby laughs will be one of the greatest joys of your life. Let yourself cry. Soak in that sweet sound and do everything in your power to hear it again daily.
The days are long and can sometimes feel like groundhogs day, but that’s okay. Embrace them because the weeks and months (and years, I’m assuming) are short. All of a sudden you’ll look up and 5 months have passed and you’ll wonder where the time has gone. Everything passes. Even the hard stuff. It’s all temporary so enjoy it all as best you can.
You’ll be bombarded with information. There are so many polarizing opinions in the world of motherhood. And there are also a lot of “experts” on every topic possible. Be mindful of it all and do your best not to obsess (easier said than done). You might find yourself in moments of complete desperation. It’s okay to listen to someone else when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope and exhausted all options. But don’t forget to also listen to yourself. You know more than you think you do.
Lean on other moms. The women who have walked this path before you. They survived. You can too.
You’re doing great. The absolute best you can. It will be easy to convince yourself otherwise. Ignore that voice in your head that says you’re not doing a good job. You’re doing better than good. Amazing, in fact. You are the perfect mama for your baby. Just remember you created them and you two are meant for each other.
Here’s to many more lessons to come!
